Week 28

Siana was still rather grumpy most of this week. She went back down to what she was like before the detox began. But although she’s still waking 2 to 3 times a night, she now feeds a little better and falls asleep immediately after her feed. Her poos are dark brown, slightly runny (which is caused by the Losec) and really really smelly. Apparently that’s all part of the Candida dying off. Siana’s doctor is in PE at the moment so I’m struggling to get hold of her to see where to go from here.

On Saturday morning we went to our ante-natal class reunion. I couldn’t remember half their names (porridge brain wasn’t helping matters) but it was great to see everyone anyway. Almost all of them described their babies as “easy” or “good” babies. Oh, if only…

But on Saturday afternoon, my awesome hubby surprised me with a new CAR!!! I have been driving an old Ford Lazer with no aircon, power-steering etc, so Mike scouted around to find me a “mom car”.  It’s so lovely!!! Only problem is that it has airbags in the front so Siana had to sit in the back and screamed all the way home from Parow to Bergvliet!!! That wasn’t so fun. I made a few calls and found an auto electrician who said he’d deactivate the airbag for me but there’s no switch to turn it on and off at will. I have to go back to him to reactivate it again once I’m ready to move Siana to the backseat. It’s SO worth it!

I had to drive to Monte Vista to have it done, with Siana in the back, but it seemed to help to play some children’s music. She was okay for most of the way anyway. On the way back, I had her next to me but she was really tired. So I put on the “look to the cross” song that calms her, and gave her her “taggy” (Baby Sense taglet blanket) and she was calm the whole way home in the bumper to bumper traffic – well at least until the last 5 minutes. That is a HUGE improvement!!!

By Monday, Siana was showing a clear improvement in her feeding! Her discomfort has decreased significantly! I was so happy, I danced around the house with her to some music and she giggled from her belly :0D

Yesterday she was in a great mood all day and was doing really well, but then we had a bad night – she woke up 3 times. So I’m very confused. She seems to have a bit of a growth spurt though. She looks so tall. Maybe it’s from the Calciferol or the L-Glutamine, or the combination of both.

I went to the family planning clinic to get Microval and the Sister took my blood pressure. It was rather low. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling rather emotional and lethargic lately. And of course, my hair is STILL falling out :0/ It will have to stop at some point I guess. At least it still looks thick.

WEEK 27

Siana is doing SOO much worse! She is detoxing really really badly. The doctor warned me but I had no idea. She is waking up 4 or 5 times a night! But now she even cries, squirms and “pushes” during the dream feed and night feeds! She never used to do that. I started her on the activated charcoal so let’s hope that helps soon. It’s making her poos black! It seems that giving her deep pressure throughout her body is the only thing that helps to soothe her a bit. Poor thing.

On Friday I put her onto a much better probiotic. Apparently it’s the best liquid probiotic on the market. It’s called Bioremferment. It’s usually quite hard to find but I found it at Steps to Health in Bergvliet, which is rather convenient for me! On Sunday the doctor said to start her on L-Glutamine powder. That is to help with the gut inflammation. I just mix it with the probiotics and a few drops of gripe water and she doesn’t seem to mind it too much.

On Sunday evening she refused the 10pm dream feed – she just cried and squirmed. When I put her back down, she went straight back to sleep and only woke up once that night (2:30am)!!! Awesome. On Monday til today (Wednesday) there seems to be some improvement. Well, she’s basically gone down to the level she was just before the detox began. Let’s hope she keeps improving.

When Alison came to visit this week she told me that she is too scared to have a second baby because her first one has been so very easy, she just knows her luck can’t be good enough to have that happen twice. I explained to her that she’s not going to have a Siana. Siana is a very rare case. Her second one is definitely going to be different to her first, but different doesn’t mean bad. I think she’ll still end up having a second one. Josh is such a cutey pie, she’ll definitely get broody again.

WEEK 26

 I made a wonderful discovery this week. Siana was screaming madly in the car – as she tends to do (especially when even slightly tired) – and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have her lullabies in the car so I put on one of my songs from a worship cd I listened to quite often when I was pregnant. As soon as the song began, she stopped crying and became so calm! So I played the song over again until we got home – not a single peep the rest of the way! Two days later, I had to drive a little further. As soon as she began moaning, I put on the same song and she became completely calm again. The funny thing is that the song is about finding peace in Christ. She must recognize the song from when she was in the womb. What a great discovery!

I found out that, according to the SA association of Orthodontists, thumb/finger sucking can only be harmful once your permanent teeth have started coming out. So I’ve got another 5 or 6 years before I have to get Siana to stop. Until then, it’s a great way for her to self-soothe!

I took Siana to her appointment with Dr Louise Lindenberg. She is the first health professional that didn’t shrug her shoulders when looking at Siana. She immediately knew what the problem is! She says it’s Candida of the gut! She sent off a stool sample to some lab in Germany to confirm and to check if there’s anything else, but we’re going to start treating so long. Yay!!! Answers!!! She said that modern medicine tends to go the route of suppressing symptoms (like colic and reflux) rather than finding and treating the route cause. She says this can lead to auto-immune diseases like childhood leukemia and rheumatoid arthritis! How scary is that!

New research has shown that a person can have Candida in gut without thrush symptoms! If the body doesn’t see the Candida as a threat (no inflammatory response) it doesn’t cause thrush, but the chemical changes still cause side effects such as increased sensory sensitivity (lights to bright, sounds too much, can’t handle being touched too much, can’t handle strange movements etc), grogginess, abdominal discomfort etc. Sounds just like Siana!

Siana seems to be getting worse on the treatment. She wakes up pushing 2-3 hourly, is miserable and does more “pushing” all day. The Dr said that’s exactly what happens with Candida – as it dies off, it releases toxins with nasty side effects. She recommended I give Siana Activated Charcoal powder. I have to give her half a capsule in some breast milk 3 x day to absorb toxins and reduce side effects. I was very surprised she drank it without problem!

My milk was dropping again, but I found something that works wonderfully. It’s called Fenugreek. You can get the actual food (it’s like sprouts) or take the easy route and just take the capsules. The morning after I took it for the first time, I woke up with loads of milk! Yay!

We took our first attempted trip to the gym today. I took her to the child care facility and went to the treadmill. It was just 12 minutes before they decided to call me. Which probably means they spent the last 10 minutes trying to get her to stop crying first. Oh well, she’s obviously just not ready. I think she’s actually sexist and racist ;0) She only lets blonde white woman hold her. With anyone else, her bottom lip quivers and then she bursts into tears. But, if she’s rested and fed, she smiles happily at other people if she’s in my arms.

Siana is so clever. She has gone beyond the understanding of simple cause and effect: Above her changing table are 3 suspended little round plastic balls with butterflies in them. Then, I have attached a chain to the shelf against the wall above the changing table to put toys on for her to play with. Siana managed to figure out how to use the chain to wack the little butterfly balls to make them swing around wildly! What a clever sausage!

WEEK 25

 

We had a picnic at Kirstenbosch Gardens on Sunday with my whole family (mom and step-dad, dad and step-mom, my brother and his family, and of course Mike and Siana) to say good-bye to my sister, Anneli and her husband, Quintin. It was such a beautiful day!

My neice, Saskia, is 5 years old and is completely fascinated by Siana. She wants to watch me feed her, change her nappy, put her to sleep, everything. But, because Saskia’s mom has a friend with a baby of a similar age named Lucy, Saskia keeps getting confused and calls Siana, “Lusiana” :0)

I breastfed Siana on a bench in a secluded area with the feeding cover on (and Saskia watching intently) and then, when it was time for a nap, I put her in my wrap around sling facing me, gave her her dummy and went for a walk until she had drifted off. She took about 10 minutes to fall asleep and then stayed asleep for about 40 minutes. It’s not as long as she would have slept in her cot at home, but it’s far better than nothing, and it’s really nice to be out of the house! She won’t sleep in her pram because the seat doesn’t go all the way flat and the position in holds her in aggravates her reflux! Makes having a life outside of my home a little challenging… But at least the sling works! What a relief.

This week something happened that made me feel like the worst mother in the world – again! I propped Siana up on the couch with some pillows around her for support and then sat in front of her to play with her. Then, she spat up a bit and I didn’t have a burping cloth with me, so I quickly slipped into the kitchen to grab the one on the kitchen counter and in that second, Siana managed to fall off the couch, onto the carpet! I don’t know how, but she did! I felt so terrible! She cried for a bit but thank goodness there were no bumps or bruises afterwards. Wow, these things really do “happen so quickly” – as our mothers tell us. I’ll never do that again!

I want to try start going to the gym with Siana in the child-care section. They said that I can do a trial period to see if she copes (2 free sessions). But she’s starting to get clingy to mommy already! She often cries when someone else holds her. It’s only supposed to be at around 9 to 10 months that the clinginess starts! Well, no harm in trying.

When Siana is feeding, it’s so cute how her nose wiggles up and down like a little bunny. Unfortunately she is only able to feed on the left breast if I hold her in football position, otherwise it seems to be painful or at least very uncomfortable for her, and she ends up in tears. Well, at least I found something that works – even if it is only for 5 to 7 minutes at a time. She can feed in the normal “cradle position” on the right breast though. Strange.

Siana looks like she’s balding on the top of her head. She has an area from just above the one temple to the other where her hair is really thin, but it’s still its original thickness on the back and sides! Then there’s two thin lines of “balding spots” just below each temple. It looks very funny. My mom says it’s just because of her head growth being amplified in those specific areas. I hope her hairs grows in soon. In the meantime, thank goodness it’s cold enough to wear beanies ;0)

At bath time she has become more tolerant with being given an arm “massage” in bath when I wash her. She doesn’t resist anymore, but she sucks the fingers of other hand while I’m busy. That’s improvement! And now, instead of towel drying her normally, I use the towel to apply deep pressure throughout her limbs. Deep pressure is very soothing so I thought I’d try that. It definitely helps a lot! She’s a lot calmer :0)

WEEK 24

On Saturday I went to my step-sister’s wedding. I had so much fun dancing the whole evening with my dad, brother and sister. (My hubby doesn’t dance.) It was so nice to have some freedom – some “me” time. The next morning I woke up with LOADS of milk! And I’m still producing lots ever since! I think it really helps to distress a bit. My mom babysat Siana while I was at the wedding. Siana was being rather challenging. She didn’t want to go to sleep because it wasn’t me that was putting her to sleep. But, my mom coped fine and is happy to do it again.

I went to see the paediatrician. He said we need to put Siana on Losec for reflux. If it is reflux, she should be a happy little girl in a week, if it isn’t then he doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and we should just put her on solids and see what happens. I REALLY don’t want to put her on solids yet! She may be 5 and a half months old, but her gut is only 3 and a half months old!

I have to give her half a Losec in the morning and half at night. The paediatrician said I could just put the full tablet in double the water in the evening, give her half, and then give the rest in the morning. But by morning it has formed a whole lot of little pink balls! She won’t swallow that! So I’m breaking the little tablets in half instead. She really hates the taste of it and was spitting it all out, so instead of 5ml of water, I put it in 4ml water and 1ml alcohol free gripe water. Works like a charm. Getting it down that is. The Losec, however, didn’t work. It slightly decreased the amount of reflux, but it definitely isn’t gone. But I refuse to put her obviously sensitive little gut through solid food just yet. I’ve made an appointment with Dr Louise Lindenburg for next week Friday. She’s a GP and a Homeopath and she specializes in food intolerances and digestive disorders – especially in kids.

We went with my sister up Table Mountain. I hadn’t been since I was 10! I took the wrap sling. During her awake time she faced forward, bouncing her arms and legs about, wearing her new sun hat (which was way to big for her) that her Aunty Anneli bought for her. Then, when she got sleepy, I found a rock to sit on and feed her with my feeding cover over me (my mom had to help hold it down because of the wind). Then I turned her to face me and closed the sling up over her head to block out the light, sounds and wind, and she fell asleep against my chest. Worked really well.

Afterwards, we went to the aquarium. Siana really liked that! She was so peaceful, staring at the slow moving fish swimming around between the gently swaying seaweed. Then when it was nap time again, I took her to the breastfeeding facilities, fed her and turned her to face me in the sling again. No problem, she slept quite happily. Granted she only sleeps for about 45min to an hour in the sling (one sleep cycle), but she wakes up refreshed and quite happy.

Oh, by the way, Siana has now decided she doesn’t like her Pigeon dummy anymore – she only wants her Nuk dummies. She mostly sucks her fingers, but when she’s a bit over-tired, the dummy does the trick.

WEEK 23

I did an assessment with Siana this week and it turns out that she has already reached a 4 to 4.5 month old level (she’s only 5 months old!). The paediatrician said it would take 12 to 18 months to catch up but she’s already nearly there. I guess it’s kind of cheating that I am an Occupational Therapist and know what I need to do with her for the right developmental stimulation, but I’m still very excited!

I tried the 3^rd homeopathic remedy with Siana but there’s still no change. I think the homeopath (like everyone else) is struggling to find the route cause of the problem. I made an appointment with the paediatrician again for next week. Siana’s still waking up 2 to 3 times a night and seems to be getting worse with her feeds again this week! She’s mostly happy between feeds, but still cries, screams and “pushes” when trying to feed so she can only feed small amounts at a time and therefore has to be fed every 2 hours.

I have found that giving Siana deep pressure through her limbs really helps to relax her and put her in a good mood – sometimes she even gives a little “lekker kry” giggle of delight. I use widely spread firm pressure in her shoulders, arms, hands, hips, legs and feet, and she just loves it.

I took Siana for healing prayer last Saturday. Unfortunately there was no difference afterwards, and with all due respect to the big guy upstairs, I was rather peeved! He knows my heart, he knows I mean no disrespect, but I was really trusting Him to heal her! But then, this Sunday really opened my eyes. There was a guest speaker at my church who spoke about the troubles we go through in our family lives. She spoke about how, when we go through hard times and we pray for God to help us out of it, sometimes He does just that – He rescues us out of the situation right there and then. But other times He doesn’t because He has a bigger plan. He gives us strength and support, but allows us to go through these difficult times so that we can either develop character, become more dependent on Him, or so that we can gain experience and knowledge that will make us able to help others that are going through similar troubles later on. That made me realize that there is a purpose to all of this. It isn’t all for nothing. There is a bigger plan in all of this. I think my current experiences are going to be used to help other moms one day!

My sister arrived from America. It is so nice to see her again! She said that it is so weird to see me with my own baby. She brought Siana some Vans shoes and socks that are just adorable! She also brought her some gorgeous clothes and the most cuddly blankies I’ve ever seen. They are so soft! I’m glad Siana can finally meet her aunt.

WEEK 22 (14 weeks adjusted age)

I haven’t had internet the whole week, so that is why my blog is late. I felt like a cavewoman without internet! You don’t realize how dependent you are on technology until it’s gone!

Siana is now 5 months old (3 months adjusted age). She is reaching towards and grasping objects now with better control. But, she hasn’t got a clue how to let go yet. And every time she manages to grab onto something, it goes straight into her mouth. Very cute! Where we mostly use our eyes, babies learn about objects primarily through their mouth because of the very sensitive receptors in their mouths – especially those on the inside of their lips. I am so glad we grow out of that phase.  Can you imagine if, as adults, we walked into a shoe shop and stuck each pair into our mouths to see if we liked them or not! And can you imagine the mess at the fruit and veg stores?! Wow. There’s a thought.

Siana’s decided that her thumb is just not enough anymore. Instead she sticks 2, 3 and sometimes even 4 fingers in her mouth to suck on instead! It looks so funny! I have reintroduced the 9:30 dream feed and that seems to be helping because then she sleeps through until about 4:30am!

Unfortunately there’s no improvement with her “pushing” and tummy discomfort. The homeopath asked me to wait for yet another 3 days before stopping the remedy. But I’m losing faith in this one. I believe in homeopathy, I just don’t think that this is the right remedy. My hair is falling out again. Maybe I should see if there’s a remedy for that too.

My sister is arriving from America on Friday! I can’t wait to see her! I finally get to meet her husband (they got married in America) and she finally gets to meet Siana. AND I just realized that my first Mother’s Day is about to come up! Oooh exciting, what should we do??? Hmmm… :0D

WEEK 21 (13 weeks adjusted age)

Siana was only waking once at around 3am for a quick feed before sleeping through ‘til about 7am! And sometimes she only woke at about 4:30! It was wonderful! But since Saturday she’s gone back to only 5 minute feeds again because she still constantly has an urge to “push” (as if constipated) which makes her so uncomfortable during feeding times. She’s not getting enough at a time so I have to feed her every 1 ½ to 2 hours (each time she wakes up and again before I put her down). Yet she still wakes up hungry an hour or two after I’ve put her down for the night. She’s so tiny, I need to make sure she’s getting enough, but it’s exhausting! I’ve now given up on my attempts to exercise in the mornings. She’s just too unpredictable.

On Tuesday I took Siana to the Homeopath, but she too seemed confused by Siana’s behaviour (as does everyone else). She gave her a remedy that she said should work within 2 to 3 days if her theory of the cause of her problems is correct. Let’s hope it works!!! She gave the remedies in distilled water instead of alcohol (which homeopathic remedies are usually mixed with to preserve them). She said that in water it will only be viable for 2 months or so instead of over a year with the alcohol, but I only need to use it for 3 days! It’s so much easier! Usually with homeopathic remedies in alcohol, I have to put the drops into a shot glass, then put the shot glass into a bigger glass of boiled water and wait for the alcohol to evaporate. Then I have to transfer the shot glass into cold water to cool it down before giving it to her. It works but it’s a lot of effort. So for Siana’s next inoculation, I am going to ask the homeopathic pharmacist to make the Thuja drops in distilled water instead.

Siana has started crying after baths again (during drying and dressing time). But, on a positive note, she has started gaining control of her hands and is swiping at objects hanging above her. She seems to get excited when she gets it right too. And now because of my dedication to tummy time, she’s become so strong that when I put her down on her tummy to sleep, she now pushes herself right up on her arms and looks around when she’s supposed to be sleeping! It’s actually very cute :0)

I did something really stupid the other day. I feel so embarrassed to write about it but I think other moms need to be warned. It was a cold night so I thought, to make things more pleasant for my baby who hates being dressed, I’d put her little vest onto the heater next to her compactum so it’s all warm and snug for her after her bath. But, I completely forgot about the two little metal snappies! So when I put it on her, the one snappy touched her arm at the same time as the other touched the back of my hand. It was hot and she screamed! My traumatic memories of working with burnt children at Red Cross made me completely over react and I ran to the bathroom with her to run her arm under cold tap water. The poor thing had double trauma. It was hot, but not THAT hot! I’ll never warm up her jamies like that again! Socks maybe, but anything with snappies is just gonna have to stay room temperature.

This may seem like a completely random comment, but there is one product that I am just so glad I have found – Vanish pre-wash stain remover! I know, it sounds cheesy, but when Siana has her oozing armpit to kneepit poos, nothing gets that bright yellow baby poo stain out clothes so easily! I just squirt some directly onto the stain and chuck it into the wash. No scrubbing or soaking required. Definitely made for busy moms! :0)

WEEK 20 (12 weeks adjusted age)

On Wednesday night I had to miss home group yet again. I asked them to pray specifically for Siana’s feeding issues. On Thursday morning, she fed for 12 minutes!!! That’s a huge improvement from 5! I had to run some errands at Cavendish Square and she fed 2 out of 3 attempts in the feeding room – with me sitting up, for 10 minutes at a time! Then, that evening, she fed for 15 minutes before bed and slept through until 4:45am!!! What a break through! Yay! That night I went out for supper at Peddlar’s with my friend from the UK and Mike babysat. It was so nice to get out and just have some girl time.

On Friday I went into work to meet with my director and hand in my resignation. After I explained what I had been going through with Siana, she just about gasped, and said that she would resign too if she were me. She said she was very sad to lose me but understands that family needs to come first. That night Siana slept in her own room for the first time. I just put her little fold up carry-cot that she slept in on our bed directly into her cot so it was familiar for her. It went really well! I slept better without hearing each little squeak she made and I think she slept better too – slept through til 4:30.

On Saturday was my nephew’s pirate birthday party. One of my brother’s friends asked me “So how old is your little one? 2, 3 weeks?” I know Siana is small but good grief! She’s not THAT small!

Siana wasn’t able to fall asleep at the party and she still isn’t able to sleep in the pram or car seat so she was EXHAUSTED by that night and slept through until 6:30. But she was in a miserable mood because she was so tired all day so that really isn’t worth the extra lie-in in the morning!

On Sunday she had too much sleep (to make up for Saturday) and ended up waking up at 12am and only going down again at 1:45am! Mike never wakes up from Siana’s crying/screaming. This time he did wake up while I was walking her up and down the hallway trying to settle her. He looked at me with a glint in his eye and cheekily said “You know, you shouldn’t walk her around all night when she’s trying to get some sleep”. Funny.

On Sunday night we went out for supper. I had quite a rich, creamy meal and that did not go down well for Siana. On Monday she was lethargic and cranky all day, and had diarrhoea too! She had a bit of improvement on Tuesday but was back to her normal self on Wednesday again. Won’t do that again!

She’s still feeding reasonably well – 15 minutes at a time without fighting! What a relief. I get to go back to home group tonight. YAY! My home group leader is 17 weeks pregnant now, and so is my friend Hayley – both having boys. My other friend, Claire is 7 weeks pregnant. Not sure what she’s having yet.

Siana’s head control is now strong enough for her to face forwards in the wrap-around sling. I do my grocery shopping like this. She just loves it! She kicks her legs, waves her arms and watches everything.

WEEK 19 (11 weeks adjusted age)

Siana is so cute, she “speaks” when she’s upset – she makes babble noises in her moaning. So sweet. Her tummy still seems to be bothering her – she’s still “pushing” a lot and is still fighting at the breast. It’s been nearly 10 weeks of this now!

I phoned the paediatrician again. He said that it was probably the anaesthetic in the cream that caused the inflammation. He said that if she’s not constipated then she can’t be “anally focused” as he had thought before. And if she isn’t bothered by lying on her back then it is unlikely to be reflux. He has asked me to get a second opinion from another lactation consultant to see if it’s the way I’m feeding her that’s the problem.

Last Wednesday night was disastrous! I got up to go to the bathroom at 12:30 and smelled that Zach had had diarrhoea in our dining room/lounge area! So I spent from 12:30 to 1:30 cleaning up the mess! Then just as I got back into bed, Siana woke for a feed at 2am. After I finished feeding her, I was really hungry so I went to the kitchen to get something to eat and finally got back to bed at about 3am. Then Siana woke up at 4am, squirming and pushing and eventually only went to sleep again at 5am! Really rough night.

On Saturday and Sunday there was so much happening, Siana barely slept at all during the day! We were out on Saturday and on Sunday Mike’s dad was at our place doing some DIY. So by Sunday night, she was so exhausted, she slept from 7pm through to 4:30am!

On Monday night we had a braai at our house (with Tues being a public holiday). Everyone was outside on the opposite side of the house and really not noisy at all, but for some reason, Siana just couldn’t sleep. She screamed for 2 hours before finally falling asleep! My one friend is trying to fall pregnant at the moment. I think that may have made her think twice ;0)

Tuesday I was out with Siana all day again so she struggled to sleep during the day and ended up sleeping through to 4am again! It seems the days that she doesn’t get much sleep during the day, she sleeps longer at night – but then she’s really miserable and cranky all day so that isn’t worth it. I told Mike that if she sleeps through to 4am three days in a row, then I’m going to move her into her own room.

Siana is able to cope with a lot more stimulation now. She is able to lie on her back on the play gym and play with the dangling toys happily for about 10 to 15 minutes without me now! It’s great! She often has her whole fists in her mouth but has just started figuring out how to suck her thumb. It’s so cute!

She’s gaining weight nicely now. She’s got these cute chubby thighs and a bit of a double chin! We call the little rolls at the back of her neck “Zuma rolls”. I’m so glad she’s not skin and bone anymore. She’s still a very petit baby, but she’s looking a lot healthier now.